Conflict Strategy

I would like to introduce my conflict strategies.

 As the results of "How you act in conflicts"
Compromising (31)　→ Problem Solving (29)　→ Forcing (23)→　Smoothing (23)→　Withdrawing (19)

The information if each strategies
compromise: both the goal and the relationship are somewhat important. You are willing to give up part of your goal or sacrifice part of the relationship in order to reach an agreement. You may wish to engage in a problem-solving negotiation but don't have the time.

problem-solving: the goal and the relationship are important. You intiate problem-solving negotiatiors in order to resolve the conflict. You seek solutions that ensure you and the other person fully achieve your goals and resolve any tensions and negative feelings between the two of you.

This analysis was quite true and realistic for myself I think. When conflict situations, I try to compromise and if I know that it is impossible to compromise (which occurs often),  I will then try to solve the problems by using forcing or smoothing.

When talking about compromise, I would like to make a goal but at the same time I do not want to break the relationship. As, the consequence of conflict might conclude to bad relationships with your friends and family. I believe that both are important even though you are in a conflict situation.Though I take care about the relationship, I tend to want to make a solution through the conflict. That is about the problem-solving.

In addition, I would have to sometimes withdraw and try to improve this as it is the lowest score.

I will have to try to avoid conflicts when it has become emotionally, and have to calm down. Since I really get into the conflict, I would not be able to think about others so from now on I would like to try to develop the skills of withdrawing.   

 

Chapter 8 Lighten Up!

Find something to celebrate and something to laugh about.

"In stressful circumstances, when times are grim, celebration is usually the furthest thing from anyone's mind. Under survival conditions, laughter is an unnatural act, and in tough business situations, humor can seem frivolous, inappropriate, or out-of-touch."

Reading this quote from the text, I remembered what I was trying to do when I was in high school. As I was a person that do not like conflict and didn't like people crying or having problems because of that conflict, I tried to encourage them by making them smile (laugh) and lighten up. When I was listening to my friends' talk and counseling them, I tried to be stupid and make them smile so that they can think easy about the problems.Though others might thought of my behavior as I am out-of -touch, I didn't really care about it because I believed that using my humor and then making them smile will lead to a solution in a good way.

I have found a good movie which makes us lighten up!
This movie makes us smile and at the same time for me, it comes to my mind about my childhood. As some knows, and some might not know, I am a twin. According to mu mother, the same things happening in the movie also happened to myself (ourselves). We used to talk in our language that nobody except ourselves could understand just as the movie. We even fighted in that language and also laughed at the same time. It is really strange but it seems that the conversation is established.
 
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfLPEUFGKMg

Chapter 7 Conflict

Master conflict- deal with anger in small doses, engage dissidents, and avoid needless power struggles.

Conflict: The very mention of the word can raise feelings of anxiety. It comes in many forms: direct arguments, disagreements, sabotage, and passive aggression. Though conflict can mean decreased productivity, increased stress, wasted energy, and diminished problem-solving ability, it can also result in an unhappy workplace, loss of revenue, vulnerability to competition, and ultimately, organizational death.


Conflict and lack of unity had destroyed the ability of the team to function at the edge. IN difficult leadership situations, we are often tempted to ignore or isolate individuals whose personalities rub us the wrong way or who have a knack for stirring up trouble. While this is an understandable reaction, it is the wrong one. It only creates space for further problems, and rejecting dissidents is ultimately detrimental to the organization. A more productive response- however counterintuitive it may seem- requires doing the opposite.  

It is vital to decide which battles are worth fighting and which are not. The battles worth fighting should be engaged with all available resources, those not central to your mission should be let go. 
About this part, I thought that is close to the negotiation styles "avoiding". To make a decision of whether the battle, negotiation is worth or just a waste of time is necessary for a leader to success.

Chapter 6 Core team Vaslues

Minimize status differences and  insist on courtesy and mutual respect.


Shackleton had an ability to create a sense of team unity.
Talking about a bad leader, Scott, leadership focused on appearance and all of his behaviors created anger, resentment, and depression. On contrast, Shackleton was a strong team leader, he saw no value in unnecessary trappings that differentiated team members. He saw the need for decision-making authority, but it did not take a form that created a superior, elite class.
Shackleton also had a sense of equality which is the ability to apologize, to admit when he was wrong. 
Others might have glossed over the mistake. But Shackleton did not, and it only served to increase his credibility as a leader.

An important method for creating mutual respect comes from insisting on common courtesy, even under stressful conditions in which it may seem unnecessary.
Leaders who want team members to care about each other need to model that behavior themselves. It is not something that can be delegated, and it cannot be feigned. If it is modeled and reinforced, though, over time it will become part of the culture of the team.

"Caring for others reflect team unity." I think this is about accommodating style in negotiations which I stated in the blog. Thinking about others and taking care of their feelings is necessary for me to built team unity. I will mention about "caring" more in my research paper. Caring is a significant skill of leadership. 

My negotiation styles

In today's lesson, we learned about are negotiation styles. So, I would like to share my styles of negotiations and my thought through that.
But before that, I'll make a brief summary of the five negotiation styles.

The competing style: focuses on self-interest or substantive outcome, generally at the expense of the other party and the relationship. win-lose
The accommodating style: opposite to the competing style. To be concerned with preserving the relationship, even if it means giving up substantive outcome.
The collaborating style: involves exploring individual and mutual interests in an effort to satisfy everyone's needs. win-win outcomes are possible.
The avoiding style: to avoid not only issues but also the other party and negotiation itself.
The compromising style: to get some of what you want but not everything. partial-win, partial-lose.

My scores was in this order
competing (23)　→ compromising (22)→　collaborating (20)→　avoiding (19)→　accommodating (16)

I was surprised that none of the scores were extremely high or low. And that the result were really close to my thoughts and the way of negotiating.

I especially take the competing style when the negotiating is about myself and want I really want. I mainly think about myself, not about others and try to win. But after the lectures of negotiation skills, I have learned that there are a way to make the negotiation partial-win and partial lose. I also noticed that I usually use this style. Perhaps saying, "as I will do this, you will have to do this", since I can still get some things what I want. Collaborating styles is what I have to improve. To make a win-win outcome, I've learned the importance to share information, and give things which I don't need and get things the other don't need.  Also, I would use avoiding styles when I have realized that the other party is tough, takes a lot of time and that negotiating will be no use.
I think it is necessary to have the ability to decide whether to avoid this negotiation or not.
The most lowest score was accommodating styles. Thinking about myself, I might have never thought about preserving relationship when negotiating as it is the opposite of competing. But through this questionnaire, I have noticed about this style and I would try to do my best to improve this.

Not only competing and compromising, I would like to try some other negotiation styles and I want to be a person who can use the best styles which matches the situations.

Chapter 5 The Team Message

Reinforce the team message constantly: "We are one- we live or die together"

Teamwork has become something of a modern rallying cry in today's high-performing organizations.

Establishing a shared identity is an essential first step in creating unity, but more is needed to reinforce the team message. To maintain a sense of connectedness, the bonds of need to be nurtured in every way possible. A comment, or simply eye contact, served as the connective tissue that held the team together as its members worked successfully to save lives. The bonds of communication can be used to bind a team together even when human touch or face-to-face contact is impossible. The need for frequent communication is always important in maintaining a sense of team unity.

A unified team is one in which every member understands the task to be done and feels a sense of deep personal responsibility for the success of the group's effort. The ability to understand each person's temperament and skills, and then to match those qualities with the needs of the expedition. The best leaders are sensitive to individual needs and skills, and they find ways of using diverse talents. When corrective action needs to be taken, it is done in a way that avoids isolating or scapegoating people.

Through my experience, I think teamwork is a very difficult and stressful thing. It is hard to consider everyone's opinion and with that making a conclusion. I've learned that making a conclusion for a team is more difficult than making a conclusion for yourself. And as the number of people who are in the team increases, it makes it more difficult. I have learned from this text that communication, even not a word but by eye contact, can make some situations better. 
This chapter was really interesting to me since I am doing a team sports.

Chapter 4 Stamina

Take care of yourself: Maintain your stamina and let go of guilt.

As a leader, you are a foundation of your expedition. If you fail to maintain your own stamina, then you will be unable to summon the energy needed to reach The Edge. 

Leaders need to demonstrate concern for others and monitor health of those who work for them. The also need to extend this awareness to themselves and to recognize that even the most energetic individual has limits.

Leaders need not to be completely stoic, solitary figures. They should enlist the support and guidance of those around them to assist them in taking the right next steps for the team. 
Talk to friends→ to deal with your candid thoughts

Keep a journal→ to record one's emotions which can provide relief
Write letters home→ to find effective outlets to ease the weight of leadership
See a counselor or coach→ to express your feeling and a way to get an independent perspective on the challenges you face as a leader

I really agreed to the phrase "stop trying to do more than humanly possible", stated in the text. When I read this quote I thought of studying all-night called tetsuya in Japanese. I have never studied waking up all-night, but I hear a lot of people doing that to finish writing their essays or to study for exams. Though, it is not very good  for your health and also your brain. Especially, when you have a exam the next day, it is important to have a sleep and make your brain relaxed. Your body and your brain has a limit.

Chapter 3 Optimism and Reality

Instill optimism ans self-confidence, but stay grounded in reality.

Optimism may not be a natural act for everyone, but there is a reason to believe that it is an ability that can be learned and greatly improved. The key lies in the inner dialogue that goes on, often unnoticed, almost all the time for all of us. You can get a message from yourself speaking and you will be conscious of the messages you are sending yourself about failure or success. The right messages are energizing, and the wrong ones ore deflating. 
On the other hand Martin Seligman, who is well known with the "learned optimism", argues that his ABCDE model is more effective.
Adversity, Beliefs, Consequences, dispute, Energy.

There are times in which leaders need to maintain their composure. despite the natural inclination to express feelings of discouragement, fear, or even despair. When fears and doubts are expressed openly, it may be difficult or impossible to rekindle the optimism that is so important for success.

When selecting people for key roles, it is natural to think about the knowledge, skills, and abilities to work with others, and values. such as integrity, are often considered carefully. Individual's characteristic tendency toward optimism or pessimism may be an important role. 

I liked the quote "I don't want any yes-men around me. I want them to tell me the truth, even if it costs them their jobs". I thought when I am a leader of a group, it is important and necessary to find people who will tell the truth which is trust able. 
Also what Ken taught us today was really interesting and as I liked the word, I would like to write it down on this blog. So that I can remember that it is a good experience to take risks, lots of failures and finally succeed.


To achieve something you have never had, 
                    you must do something you have never done.

My research paper proposal

Research Paper Proposal

When looking at the leaders of a company or a country, it is easy to understand the importance for a leader to be trusted by others. Being trusted by others means that the leader has power and the company or a country will succeed. This paper will explore the importance of trust when you are in a situation of taking leadership. In addition, it will show some techniques of how to build trust. This paper will also use some examples of people who succeed on building trust. It appears that there are two ways to build trust as a leader: credibility and behavior. “Leaders can no longer trust in power; instead, they rely on the power of trust. The role of the trustor is to take risks; the role of the trustee is to be trustworthy. When each is good enough at their roles, a state of trust results. If either party falls down on the job, trust will disappear. Trust involves a frequent exchange of the two roles; if one party seeks only to be trusted but never to trust, the other eventually will stop taking all the risks and shut down the relationship”(Forbes). Stephen Covey’s guide to building trust, “credibility flows from having both character and competence. Character includes your integrity, motive, and intent with people. Competence includes your capabilities, skills, results, and track record. Both dimensions are vital” (2013). From Marillyn Hewson’s article, “behavior is what we do and how we do it. For example, demonstrate the Power of a Handshake and using communicating skills.”

Chapter 2 Symbolism and Personal Example

Set a personal example with visible, memorable, symbols and behaviours.

Give the right speech
Use Vivid Symbols
Be Visible: Let People See You Leading

When giving a speech, it is necessary to chose the right words and tone. Chosing the right tones means calm, confident, and reassuring. As a CEO, it is important to learn how to communicate. The speech has to have emotional content. To be effective, you have to tap into people's sentiments, feelings, and emotions.

It is one thing to tell people that a task needs to be done, and it is another to dramatize the challenge with visible, memorable symbols and behaviours. Whatever the symbol is, it has to be vivid and memorable.

Leaders can be competent, but they must be visible. The difficult situations, however, are those during which it is most important to let people see you "standing in the stern sheets." If you are conscious of this necessity, you can create opportunities for visibility that allow you to use the power of your role as a leader to provide assurance, direction, and inspiration.

My examples of a leader who shows "visibility"
The captain of the girl's soccer team shows visibility by attending almost all the practice even she is busy and have lots of things to do. She tries to attend the practice though she comes late or has to leave earlier. Also, when she is cannot participate the practice, she tells the team what to do beforehand.

Developing effective negotiation skills

The text "Developing effective negotiation skills" was really interesting to me and I thought if I wold be able to use these negotiation skills. So, I would summarize the text so that it is easier to understand the text.

Change Behaviour, Change Results

The four behaviours that the skilled negotiators used 
・Seeking information
to seek significantly more information during negotiation
seeking information to obtain the necessary information with which to bargain,to use  questions as a deliberate strategy (ex.questions give control over the discussion, questions keep the other party active and reduce their thinking time).

・Testing understanding and summarizing
Testing understanding establishes whether or not a previous contribution or statement in the negotiation has been understood. Summarizing is a compact restatement of previous points in discussion. Both behaviours clear up misunderstandings and reduce misconceptions.

・Behaviour labelling
skilled negotiators tend to give an advance indication of the class of behaviour they are about to use. for example, saying Can I ask you a question instead of just asking a question. Also, they avoid labelling disagreement. They more likely to begin with the reasons and lead up to the disagreement.
 
・Feelings commentary 
The skilled negotiator is more likely to give information about internal events. Giving internal information is that negotiators appear to reveal what is going on in their minds. To comment on their own feelings is also used instead of disagreeing behaviour. The expression of feeling is directly linked to establishing trust in counseling situations.


After reading this text, I thought it is good to practice these skills daily. For example, I think it is not hard to try doing the "Testing understanding and summarizing" when talking with your friends. So, these skills are quite practical for us and we have nice chances to challenge doing these skills!